Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg crackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

Every word has consequences. Every silence, too.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

A good joke is the one ultimate and sacred thing which cannot be criticized.