Humor is the good natured side of a truth.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men—the other 999 follow women.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg crackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

Lie to a liar, for lies are his coin; steal from a thief, for that is easy; lay a trap for a trickster and catch him at first attempt, but beware of an honest man.

Can’t is the worst word that is written or spoken; Doing more harm here than slander and lies; On it is many a strong spirit broken, And with it many a good purpose dies.

We should seek the truth without hesitation; and, if we refuse it, we show that we value the esteem of men more than the search for truth.

Truly, to tell lies is not honorable; but when the truth entails tremendous ruin, to speak dishonorably is pardonable.

There is no rampart that will hold out against malice.

It is difficult to free fools from the chains they revere.

I shall not commit the fashionable stupidity of regarding everything I cannot explain as a fraud.

The greatest kindness one can render to any man is leading him to truth.

Only in men's imagination does every truth find an effective and undeniable existence. Imagination, not invention, is the supreme master of art as of life.

Never tell the truth to people who are not worthy of it.