If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.

Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men—the other 999 follow women.

My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humor, and some style.

Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg crackles as if she had laid an asteroid.

My pain may be the reason for somebody’s laugh. But my laugh must never be the reason for somebody’s pain.

Never eat more than you can lift.

Laughter is the tonic, the relief, the surcease for pain.

To me there is no picture so beautiful as smiling, bright-eyed, happy children; no music so sweet as their clear and ringing laughter.

Laugh as much as you breathe. Love as long as you live.